🎁 Me and Martin

✅ “You buying me a surfboard”

If I had a boyfriend and he were to ask me, 'Elena, what would you like as a gift?' I would reply with, 'A surfboard.'  It costs about $500. So, it doesn't sound fancy, but such a gift would make me happy.

Of course, I am capable of buying surfboard by myself as I have already bought three of those on my own. I also have an iPhone and a MacBook, which I purchased myself. Basically, everything that I have, I have acquired through my own efforts.

I have come across some relationships where women receive almost everything as gifts. On Instagram, women show it all the time. “Omg, He made me a gift. Look at this  iPhone 14 / earrings / airpods / you name it”.

I added this episode to my dream list in order to touch the world where you receive gifts because you are in a relationship. I wonder what it feels like.

At the end of December 2022, one of my friends gathered her girls-mates at home so that we could reflect on the year and plan the next one. (It was a meeting for girls only).

We sat down at a large table and began to fill out a booklet. Each page had a question to answer. One of the sections was about financial achievements of 2022 and financial plans for 2023. It was time to feel grateful for everything you earned and achieved.

Then one of the ladies said loudly: “Financial achievements. Hmm, what should I write here? Can I write that I am grateful for having my boyfriend and what I wish him to earn even more next year?”

At that moment, I realized that she and I lived in different worlds. Did I want to live in her reality where the guy seemed to pay for everything? Would I be comfortable not earning any money myself? Could I feel fulfilled and content in such a life? I doubt it.

Professional realization is a big part of my identity. It's important for me to be busy with my things and to get paid for it. And at the same time, I would like to receive gifts while being in a relationship. Not because I’m unable to buy something myself (obviously I can do that). For me, a gift represent the caring and consideration of my partner, and his desire to make me happy. For the same reason I do like when a man pays for my coffee on a date. I feel like he cares. And I'm ok to pay the whole bill next time.

When Martin and I were filming this scene in the surf shop, the salesman allowed me to take any surfboard for shooting. At that moment, I felt like we were choosing a new surfboard for me for real. And it was a wonderful feeling.